That's not MY child

Do you ever look at your children and think, "I have no idea how they got like that."

I'm not talking about those lovely "I produced a prodigy!" moments when they suddenly display an incredible aptitude for numbers.

No, I'm thinking more of the times when you wish you could stare off into the middle distance and, with a superior flick of your fringe, say to whoever is in the vicinity: "I have no idea whose children those are. Revolting, aren't they?"

I had one of those moments earlier this week.

It was late afternoon and we were all at the osteopath. Which sounds kind of "out there" but really, it's not. Jonah's had chronic constipation for most of his life and I've decided to take him to an osteopath who claims she's had great success in curing constipation. She does nothing more invasive than massaging Jonah's tummy, but it seems to be working.

But I digress. There we were: James, Hannah, Jonah and I in the osteopath's office and at one point, here's what was happening:
1) Jonah was whining (no tears) to get off the osteopath's bed, despite my desperate pleas for him to stay there and not waste my R270,00.
2) Hannah was jumping up and down and running around the bed, beating it periodically with the palms of her hands and singing at the top of her voice.
3) James was alternately grabbing the toys we were using to try to distract Jonah and saying loudly, "Mommy, I'm thirsty", while looking pointedly at the osteopath's juice bottle on her desk.

I could have crawled into a tiny hole.

I love them dearly, but sometimes, I wish I could send them back to where they came from.

Comments

[Casey]

I feel your pain, really I do. I've been feeling that way a lot lately around here, "where did these kids come from?"

[Memarie Lane]

Max and Jessamine wouldn't stop running off at the mall yesterday and kept trying to bust in on another family's photo session.

[Jeanette]

Oh LOL, sounds like me and my kids when I take them shopping together!

[Dana (The Homesteading Housewife)]

Oh I feel your pain!
I actually have a T-shirt that says...
"Who are these children and WHY do they keep calling me Mom??" hehe

[Bee]

Hahaha... often have those moments - yes can totally relate - I WANT Dana's t-shirt! :)

[Helene]

I'll have to get the t-shirt that Dana has...that's hilarious!!

I too have had many many moments like that. Most recently when I had to drag all 4 kids with me to the lab to have blood drawn. At first everyone thought they were adorable but then after 10 minutes of waiting and becoming bored, they were running around the lab like lunatics high on crack. No one thought they were so cute then! And I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole!

[mrsbear]

I hate being that mom. Unfortunately going out with all four of them offers many opportunities for my kids to get out of hand. Not always, but enough.

Also wanted to say thank you for the postcard. It came late last week, I was so excited. I'll be using it as my well-traveled bookmark, it's been much farther than I ever have. I did not know that Cape Town was so chilly.

[Tess]

I know how that goes and it's always when they know you can't totally yell at them and threaten to sell them to the gypsies!

[the sits girls]

Oh, no, you don't want to send them back to WHERE THEY CAME FROM! That would hurt terribly. lol

But we hear ya. Those moments are rough...but then forgotten with one little smile or hug.

[Tina]

I shore do luv! hearing someone else talk about their moments of poorly behaved children. Especially since in the last week: 1) my daughter picked food off of a stranger's plate, and 2) my son asked my friend for money. Where did they get their manners?

[angel]

i adore my damien... but sometimes i really don't like him!